Oh dear. Oh deary, deary me. All I want to do now is to get a pack of cigarettes and smoke them one by one, tearing off the filters. OMG that third set. I thought all the worst nightmares were coming alive - Beijing, Madrid, that wretched final in 07. Stupid brainless play, no tactics, then the back went.

And for those fuckers screaming that Novak was faking - fuck you, fuck you sideways with a rusty razor. 90 mph first serves, assholes. Thank god he rediscovered his brain in the fourth. Jeeebus, I'll be dead at work tomorrow, and I don't even care. Jeebus, what a match.

4. Least favourite men’s player

Ok. Like with the question #1, I imagine everyone who visits here already knows the answer.

???



I mean, it's pretty much impossible to be uglier than this guy - even Stepanek is less offputting (that's just my opinion, okay?). Plus, he is a pusher. And, like C. Wozniacki (DEN) was made to learn not so long ago, mug pushing won't win you slams. Andrew Murray (GBR) knows that for quite some time, but can't do anything about his passive tendencies on court, sadly - that ship has sailed which is just as well with me. And his hair's already thinning on top.

I saw him first at Queen's, I think it was in 05 - he was barely in the top 100, and I think he was playing Thomas Johansson. (goes to the ATP site to check) Yep, ToJo it was in the 05 Queen's. r16. I was fascinated first, I mean the guy is obviously talented and I like pretty much every young up-and-comer - until they give me the reason not to like them, that is. Very soon Murray gave me plenty, but honestly, if I liked his game, I'd be able to overlook plenty of things - square mouth and incessant oncourt swearing included. But his game gives me dry heaves, so by 2007 I was celebrating every match that Murray lost. I laid off that a little lately, becfuse it's no fun to kick a man when he's down. Actually wait, did I really mean that? No. No I didn't. It's still fun *kicks*.

There's one thing that I like about Andy though - I bet you all can't wait to know what it is. It's ... his mum!

Seriously, Judy's awesome, and I won't hear otherwise. She's funny, offbeat, observant, and if she's, as some claim, stumped her younger son's professional development, well, in my book that's a plus.



Honorable mentions: Gael Monfils, David Nalbandian, Rafael Nadal, Gilles Simon, Tommy Robredo, Oleksandr Dolgopolov.

3. Favorite doubles team


Ahem. Doubles play interests me even less than the WTA. I've seen maybe 15 doubles matches in my entire tennis-watching life (that's roughly one match a year). So just for kicks:

Djokovic/Zimonjic,

Just because they're so comically inept together.


I mean you put one of the best singles players and one of the best doubles players together, and the result is so much fail, it beggars belief. Zjmonjic's bh ROS is hilarious, and Nole does not know where to put himself on court.

2. Favourite women’s player

Oh Jesus. WTA. I don't even know.

Seriously, I don't know. I pretty much stopped watching WTA altogether three years ago. And now all those names - Kvitova, Goerges, Jovanovski - are just passing me by. It's hard to muster any interest again after you've become so completely disinterested once. I could name someone of the old guard I guess (what little is left of it atm), but really it's their fault too that women's tennis got buried under a wave of talentless, gutless hacks spawning from all over the world and crawling to the world top 10 and starring in ghastly, horrible, sexed-up videos. Strong is beautiful? Indeed, Serena is delivering another kicking on your hapless asses as we speak.

So, I'm picking Venus, since she's still technically active (though not for long, if I had to venture a guess):



"I kind of stay from all of that stuff, especially topics like grunting which aren’t really relevant to real tennis." - Venus Williams

And I'm trying really hard to forget those abominable "outfits" that she "designed" for herself the last couple of years - you're not a designer, Venus, please stop trying to be. Though I'm not blaming you for trying to be anything other than sportswoman in a world that apparently don't want to value sportswomen for their achievements, choosing to argue how sexy they are instead.

So yeah. That's pretty weak. I guess I'll have a field day with the question #5 instead.

 

 1. Favourite men’s player
 

Well, everyone who has even a passing acquaintance with this blog, knows who it is, but in case someone doesn't:

 

( <memory lane> )
</ memory lane>

Honorable mentions: Richard Gasquet, Tomas Berdych, Philipp Kohlschreiber, Fernando Gonzalez, Marin Cilic, Nicolas Almagro

Stolen from Let, Second Serve . Answer 1 question out of 30 the next 30 days. Seems like I've been slacking off a lot in my tennis posting, so I'll give it a shot, starting tomorrow.

1. Favourite men’s player
2. Favourite women’s player
3. Favourite doubles team
4. Least favourite men’s player
5. Least favourite women’s player
6. Your most memorable match
7. First player you became a fan of
8. Earliest tennis memory
9. Favourite retired men’s player
10. Favourite retired women’s player
11. A player that no one would expect you to love
12. A player that you aren’t a fan of but you respect
13. Favourite Grand Slam tournament
14. Favourite Non Grand Slam tournament
15. Most attractive women’s player
16. Most attractive men’s player
17. Favourite women’s tennis outfit
18. Favourite men’s tennis outfit
19. Which men’s and women’s player was world no. 1 on the day you were born
20. Favourite men’s slam champion
21. Favourite women’s slam champion
22. Favourite umpire
23. Favourite mixed doubles team
24. Favourite tennis couple
25. Favourite tennis wag
26. A match that makes you happy
27. A match that makes you sad
28. The Grand Slam you would most like to go to
29. What’s your favourite tennis surface
30. Post your fave tennis related gif or picture

 (stolen from morwen_peredhil ) NPR's Top 100 SFF Books list is out.

Bold the ones you've read, italicize the ones you fully intend to read someday. :) If it's a series and you've read one or more, but not all of the books, underline it.
 (There are some head-scratchers there, I have to say. I mean, Drizzt series are there, but no Narnia? Only one novel by China Mieville but four by Stephenson? Not that have something against Stephenson. Zelazny only one book etc. Whatever.)
( see below )

Fed, you worthless, no good old feeble choker. Just bend over again, whydoncha, led 5:2, lost 5 games in a row. In a gs final. While Nadal was playing shite. Got breadsticked in the final set for good measure. Jesus, what a clown.



Yeah, right. More like this: 



Djokovic would've won that final, you fucking mug.

via barros 


 
http://s94802126.onlinehome.us/msy/My_Albums_13-16/Pages/15._Polaroids.html#10

I need an icon out of this photo.

So nice of you to express your concern about Nole's chances of cooling off during his 4-days break. You say that to have a long layoff during the 2nd week of a slam is not a good thing. I have to ask you though - how would you know that, Ivan? I appreciate you effort as Fed's self-appointed PR man, but really, in your long and celebrated career, you've been past 4th round of a slam exactly once! So did Feddy tell you what it feels like? If a struggling player suddenly catches fire at a slam, it can be dangerous to take a break, but if you haven't lost a match in 7 months, what rhythm are you suddenly gonna lose? Are you kidding?

Now to the upcoming semi being the biggest match of Nole's career, which is also bullshit. If my calculations are correct, he's played in 10 gs semis and 4 finals, won some, lost some. Tomorrow will be his 6th gs semi against Fed, he knows how it feels. So no, Ivan, the match tomorrow is not the biggest match of Djokovic career - that was the live DC rubber in Belgrade vs. Monfils being 1-2 down. The expectations and pressure then were tenfold compared to now. If by some freak chance tomorrow will have been Nole's once-in-a-lifetime chance to get to No1, then maybe, but the way he's playing now and the way the race situation unfolds, he will have plenty of shots at the top spot. It will come eventually.

But you know, I have to congratulate you and Fed - you two were working hard trying to mount up bullshit pressure. A for effort.

On a totally unrelated note, consider this: Prodon, Bolelli, Berrer, Troicki, Chela - is this the most clownish draw to a gs semifinal ever? And some deluded fools actually think he poses any threat to Nadal tomorrow? After being down two sets to Troicki? Vamos, I'm rooting for bagels.

ETA: shit, wanted to add a link to the elder statesman's ridiculous itw, but closed the tab, and can't seem to find it now. Bugger.

Is it real clay yet?

Does altitude suit Nadal to the centimeter?

Does he like the venue?

How is his fever?




This backhand, it's godly. Ever since I saw this skinny boy playing Coria in the 2nd rd of 05 Roland Garros, and retiring because he couldn't breathe, I knew that he had the game to win everything. But even I didn't expect this domination. Nadal was helpless out there, those moonballs... lol. The hell is going on? I don't know. I don't want it to stop.

Ungh. No words. *stares transfixed*

There's tennis going on in Roma right now btw.

This is me now:



* Nadal's claycourt streak snapped at 37
* Nole's own streak extended to 34 on everything (though I sincerely hope it ends before RG; I got tired of it and of stupid questions related to it)
* First man to get his wins over Nadal into double digits
* Frst man to beat Nadal in 3 finals in a row
* Most importantly, '09 semifinal avenged. Boy, a lot of ghosts got exorcised today.
* Can he tank Rome now? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?




PS. Seriously, this is one fugly trophy, folks.

 
via stoogle.tumblr.com

Money quotes:

I only had a little bit, not on purpose, certainly. I ate some pasta and it was in that. But once it's in my body, I can't do anything. Gael Monfils

Gael suffered from an allergic reaction prior to his match,due to dizzy spells and vomiting wasn't able to compete yesterday. Eyes on next wk. Roger Rasheed (coach)

Retirement down 6-2, 3-0 to Juan Monaco in Madrid was due to an allergic reaction to cheese. He complained of dizziness and blurred vision during the match. Far as excuses go, this certainly beats everything Djokovic, Nadal or Del Potro ever concocted. Well done.

via anon-hate.tumblr.com/

This one's a keeper. Quality stuff.

On the other hand, anyone care to explain what's the matter with Roddick and clay? By all signs, he should be playing reasonably well on dirt, or at the very least not suck abominably. And by all reports Madrid plays more like a hardcourt dusted over with powdered brick. He can grind, he plays with a lot of spin, he's super fit. What's his deal, exactly? Is he such a tactical knob that he just doesn't know how to utilize what he has, or is it a matter of principle? He just doesn't like the surface and that's it? *ponders*

On the OTHER other hand, lol Cippola. He's now 1-4 in ATP matches this season. Not the Young/Bogomolov level of hilarity, but up there somewhere.

 
I think I just died of cute. I mean of course he played like shit and lost to LaLo in the 2nd rd, but who else is as absolutely ecstatic  to see Gonzo back as I am ? I hope he finds some semblance of form for RG. I want to see that forehand firing again - there's not much time left.

Y'all remember the '09 RG semi vs. Soderling, right? The legendary "wiping the mark out with ass"moment?

 Look around 2:00 (I've completely forgotten that Gonzo was right, the umpire did check the wrong mark and the ball was indeed out), but quite aside from that, it was a splendid match. Watch it if you haven't already. Watch it again, if you can.

( Cangaroos and lions, and even a giraffe, oh my! )
Just, y'know, I wish he hadn't lost to LaLo.

Starting appr. 2:10 - watch for your enlightenment.

That's the story with Nadal on clay, always - you'd have to work so hard just to get one measly set, play so well, put your everything out there, and then the next set will come, and you'll have nothing left, and he'll feast on your innards. Federer and Djokovic know this. Always the same, fucking vulture.

I actually feel kind of sorry for Ratface now - Nadal didn't even play that well, tbh.